Part One –My life in abortion; I never thought it will happen to me:-
I hope my experience in abortion will spark a gleam of hope to the life of somebody. Like many other ladies who have found themselves in this tragedy I can tell you for a fact, we never intend to procure abortion. We consider it an option for getting lost in the dark. We see it as our only campus of navigation.
I am not special than any other lady out there who have lost her life while undergoing an abortion. I am not better than those who have become barren or even contracted a life time wound to nurse. I stood equal chances of dining with death. My womb stood an equal chance of permanent destruction.
It might seem a nightmare, a dream that it will never happen to you. It is my prayer that it never happens. I once had the same mind, I even swore that never will such a calamity catch up with me. I ranked myself a smart girl, keen on everything I do – sure enough I was. You might be thinking so as well, but let me tell you the truth. We are all susceptible and many ladies out there or even you reading this post have been a victim.
Let me console with the hearts of them that have lost their loved ones in such ordeals. You might have tried your best to save her life, but it was beyond your power. You might feel guilty that there is something you could have done to save the situation, but then you never made it. Life can be that troublesome, but there is a way out, only if we don’t give up.
From your dazzling eyes, I can read the hurt of a destroyed womb, uncontrolled bleeding and a broken heart. As sure as the sun rises from the east and sets unto the west, there is hope for you. It is that hope that has made me live to see the light of day. Don’t give up on the battle, there is hope. The storms are fierce, but you will sail through.
Brought up in a Christian home, attending Christian schools and frequently attending church services, I thought I knew all that there was to learn about living. The jaws of the enemy proved me otherwise. I saw myself immune to what other ladies went through. Poor me! I thought it abnormal for a lady to be caught up in promiscuity. Let me be precise and call it the right name – fornication.
As I joined college, I thought I was the odd one out. Modest dressing, always up to task and avoiding anything that I could imagine will lead to trouble. It was my life then, and it not the same now. Things have changed. I have healed, but I am not the same again. The scars still remind me of my past, but I have hope in the future.
I gave in to the culture of my friends with time. Don’t ask me how it happened. I don’t wish to speak about it, but for the sake of somebody following here is the case. We called it gold rush back then. I thought myself of great value that nobody could dare mess around with me. A monster humbled my pride. Good girl, gone bad.
It began with a “Hi beib!” – a familiar phrase in the world of romance. With the many proposals flowing in, for a moment I thought myself a queen in the palace – I was only building castles in the air. I had options to make depending on the size of their pockets, looks and class. You might think “this girl is a fool”, you have a right to speculate, but I know if I was one I could not be writing this post.
Being the Christian girl I was, always having a taste for what is good I settled for the best option. I treasured my gem and hoped to establish a life with him after college. As it usually goes, slowly I bent my rules till I could no longer say no to lust. I broke my principles, I disowned my own rules. I remember giving in to the desires of this guy and that is how I got initiated into the club of bad girls.
My friends, especially church friends began gossiping about me behind my back. I wanted to revenge in response to their criticisms. I became the wishy-washy girl around. I wanted to hurt them, but I hurt myself. Unlike my “lucky” friends I was “unfortunate” to be impregnated. It was not my wish, but it happened. At this point people cast all sorts of names at me. I began losing my friends one by one. Suddenly, loneliness crept into my life.
I had two issues disturbing me – dealing with the pregnancy first then the stigmatization that was inevitable. It was not easy; I ended up making more mistakes, one after another. I lost hope. I even contemplated committing suicide though I knew it was not the best option either. I will tell you the events as they unfolded in part two of my story.
Yours, a survivor of abortion